5 ways comparison is stealing your growth (and how to stop it)

stop scattering your energy: how to focus on who you're becoming

Jul 24, 2025

When you're constantly comparing yourself to other people, you're not just feeling bad about yourself. You're literally scattering your energy all over the place instead of focusing it on your own growth.

Think about it: you spend so much time trying to figure out where everyone else is so you can either bring yourself down to their level or desperately try to match them, but you don't actually know where they are. You're basically throwing spaghetti at the wall, hoping something sticks.

1. you’re playing a game where nobody wins

Here's what happens: you walk by someone or their post, and suddenly you're spiraling. You start adjusting everything about yourself based on a snapshot of someone else's life.

But that person you're comparing yourself to? They probably have their own struggles that you can't see. You either see people’s highlight reel or their public face, not their reality.

Instead of asking "Why can't I be like them?" try asking "What do I actually want for myself?"

2. your energy gets spread too thin

You only have so much mental energy each day. When you spend it obsessing over how you measure up to others, there's less left for the stuff that actually moves your life forward.

Every hour you spend in comparison mode is an hour you're not spending figuring out who you are or what you want to build.

Start thinking of your energy like money, where are you spending it, and is it giving you a return?

3. you lose track of your own progress

When you're constantly looking at everyone else, you stop noticing your own growth. You miss the small wins, the gradual improvements, the things that are actually working in your life.

Your journey doesn't need to look like anyone else's. The progress you're making matters, even if it's not flashy.

Keep track of your own wins, no matter how small they seem.

4. you stop trusting yourself

Comparison makes you second-guess everything. Every decision, every goal, every step forward gets filtered through "but what would so-and-so do?"

You start making choices based on what you think will impress other people instead of what actually feels right for you.

Before you clock everyone else, check in with yourself first. How are you feeling? What do you want to focus on today?

5. you don’t develop what makes you different

When you're busy trying to be like someone else, you're not investing time in figuring out your own strengths and interests.

The version of you that shows up when you stop trying to copy other people? That's when you actually start making progress that matters.

Ask yourself better questions: "What can I learn from this?" or "How does this inspire my own path?"

here’s what you can do

Pick one area where you've been playing the comparison game. Maybe it's career stuff, relationships, or how you look.

What would it look like to redirect that energy toward your own growth instead?

Write it down. Then take one small action today that's just for you, not to prove anything to anyone else, but because it aligns with where you want to go.