You're Letting Your Circumstances Design Your Life

this is how to stop before it's too late

I was in line at my local coffee shop on an unseasonably warm September day (yesterday lmao) debating between a pumpkin latte with their house made pumpkin sauce that I’ve been waiting weeks for, or a regular old banana purée matcha.

and the unoriginal thought came back to me, the same one I’ve had since I was 14. Do I do what makes sense or do I do what I actually want to do?

It was just coffee but isn’t this what we all do everywhere else? We let circumstances decide for us. In dating. You stay with someone not because they are truly right for you but because they’re present. Because they’re familiar. Because starting over feels exhausting. It’s not love making the choice, it’s circumstance.

Ask yourself. Are you choosing them or are you letting the comfort of their availability choose for you?

In friendships. You keep people close because you’ve known them forever. You tell yourself history is reason enough but deep down you know the friendship doesn’t fit anymore. But years don’t always equal alignment. Longevity doesn’t always equal life. So pause and ask yourself if the past is the only thing you have in common with your so called friends, if so, maybe it’s time to branch out. If you don’t you run the risk of letting your circumstances define who you call a friend. You’re allowed to expand beyond what you’ve always known in fact you are supposed to. Constantly.

In money. You settle into being comfortable. The bills are paid, you’re okay, so you stop reaching for more. You convince yourself that comfort is enough but what if comfort is keeping you from growing into a better version of yourself. What if you’ve stopped asking the bigger questions about purpose, generosity, and impact because circumstances whispered that “fine” was all you needed. Focusing on yourself and meeting your needs is what you needed. Comfort feels safe but is it secretly an excuse to never think of anyone outside of yourself.

And in health. Maybe you look fine. Maybe you even look like the beauty standard whatever that means. But does looking fine mean you feel fine? You hit the number on the scale, you slide into the jeans, but meanwhile your body is asking for higher quality food, more rest, more honesty about your oh I don’t know, energy levels. How many times have you let an image or appearance decide what you do with your body instead of listening to what your body is actually saying? Classic case of letting your circumstance decide what your reality will be.

Circumstances are terrible decision-makers. They don’t know your values. They don’t know your vision. They don’t know who you are becoming. Yet how often do you let them speak louder than your own voice.

So here’s the real question. If you didn’t choose the circumstance why should the circumstance get to choose for you? You’re the captain of your ship for a reason.

Yesterday I ended up ordering the pumpkin latte. It felt like a small choice but maybe it was also everything I needed to remind myself of. Because if you cannot claim the small decisions you will struggle to stand in the big ones. Just because it’s warm outside doesn’t mean I have to change myself to fit or agree with that reality. Just because your life looks how it looks, doesn’t mean you have to change yourself to fit that reality, especially if you know that there’s still more for you, and in you to give.

So today, look at one place where you’ve been letting circumstances call the shots. And ask yourself. What would it look like to choose for you?

1. I am strong, skinny, and successful

2. God loved me before He loved the world

3. I’m getting better and better at enforcing my boundaries

1. I know we’re in fall but Killian Love Don’t Be Shy is holy grail for me when it comes to sweet perfumes, I mean the air is crispy and I smell like a bakery what’s not to love?

2. Because it’s officially Fall

   1. now I think we need a definitive ranking of the world’s best lip balms, but for now we can settle for my BIG FALL CART aka my like list that’ll be a buy list once i vet it fully and pull the triggerrrrrr leading the pack is this lip balm because of its main ingredient which just so happens to be the ingredient i owe my glass skin to - SQUALINEEEEE

3. As an I feel weird if my hands are dry girlie FOR LIFE this hand cream is the only one you need but this L’Occitane almond hand creme will keep your hands smelling mwah until Kingdom come for real

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