Your Bedtime Revenge Practice Is Telling On You
Why putting off sleep is actually evidence the fear of not having enough
Bedtime revenge is when you’re tired but you refuse to sleep because there’s just too much living to do but it’s actually a manifestation of a belief in scarcity let me explain and then help you get rid of it because we don’t want that energy anywhere in our lives non?
1. The feminine urge to have dilly dally at every opportunity
Bedtime revenge procrastination is when you delay sleep to dilly dally or have free time to do nothing, even though you know you’ll regret it tomorrow. There’s no real reason keeping you awake, you just choose to stay up because it feels like your only chance to live your life.
The term comes from China, where it described overworked employees staying up late to feel like they had some control. Like saying, “I deserve time for myself, even if I have to take it from my own sleep.”
2. The scarcity paradox
It isn’t about bad habits or poor discipline. It’s about scarcity. All day, you’re on - handling things, showing up for everyone else. By the time night comes, you realize you didn’t get enough time to just be yourself as all girlies deserve.
You didn’t get time for your interests, your thoughts, or just existing without someone needing something from you. So when bedtime shows up, your brain panics. “If I go to sleep now, I’ll wake up and do this all over again without ever getting a moment that felt like mine.”
That’s scarcity thinking. You’re trying to squeeze out every last bit of “me time” because deep down, you don’t believe there’s enough. In that moment, staying up feels like the only way to get what you need.
Here’s the thing: you’re right that you need more time for yourself. You’re just getting it in a way that makes everything worse instead of better. If it feels like you’re reheating your own nachos with that behavior, it’s probably because you are.
3. That probably sounds familiar
Ways you self sabotoge that look like you’re helping yourself but your’e actually hurting yourself:
People-pleasing to avoid conflict - Saying yes when you mean no, going along with things you don’t want, never stating what you need. You think you’re keeping the peace but you’re really just building resentment.
Keeping people around who make you feel bad - Not cutting off friendships that drain you because you’re afraid of being alone or burning bridges. You’re protecting relationships that hurt you fo’ what?
Overthinking every post before you send it - Spending 20 minutes crafting the perfect response or post because you’re trying to control how people see you. You’re exhausting yourself over basic communication that no one will remember a week from now including you.
Venting to anyone who will listen instead of dealing with the problem - Talking about what’s wrong to everyone except the person who can actually change it. You’re using conversation as a release valve instead of solving anything and dumping energy on the other person.
Accepting bare minimum treatment because at least it’s something - Staying with someone who’s inconsistent or treats you badly because being alone feels worse. You’re settling for nothing and hoping it turns into something. That’s like staring at the sun and hoping that at high noon it turns into the moon. It can’t. And it won’t. No matter how hard you want it to.
4. Why This Is Self-Sabotage
When you sacrifice sleep, you’re stealing from tomorrow, the energy, focus, and emotional bandwidth you need to build the life you want. When you sacrifice your standards, you’re stealing from the quality of your tomorrow. You wake up exhausted, which makes you less productive, more reactive, and less able to set boundaries or protect your time during the day. This just reinforces the scarcity, which leads you right back to staying up late again.
'It’s a cycle. You stay up because you feel depleted. Staying up leaves you more depleted. You’re borrowing from tomorrow to pay for today, and the debt keeps growing.
5. How to Fix It
Breaking this cycle means shifting from scarcity to having enough.
Put Personal Time in Your Calendar
Stop treating your own time as something that only happens after everything else is done. Block it out. Even 20 minutes during the day—reading, walking, doing nothing—takes the edge off that desperate late-night feeling.
Reframe What Sleep Is
Sleep isn’t the end of your free time. It’s how you make sure you have energy to enjoy your life, it’s part of it. When you’re exhausted, everything is harder and less satisfying. Rest is an investment, not a punishment.
Set a Wind-Down Alarm
Set an alarm for when you need to start getting ready for bed, not just when you need to be asleep. This gives you time to ease into rest instead of fighting it until the last second and rushing in and out of the shower be so fr girl.
Challenge the Scarcity
When you feel that panic of “I didn’t get enough time today,” remind yourself: there will be more time tomorrow. Today being imperfect doesn’t mean you have to steal from your sleep to make up for it.
Make Bedtime Something You Want
If going to bed feels like giving up, you’re going to resist it. Create a routine that feels good visualizing, stretching, reading, a specific tea or skincare routine. Make it something you look forward to.
On a Deeper Level: Build a Life You Don’t Need to Escape From
Bedtime revenge procrastination is a signal. It’s your brain telling you that something needs to change. Not your bedtime, your days.
The fix isn’t forcing yourself to go to bed earlier or having more willpower. It’s creating a life where you don’t have to steal from your sleep to feel like yourself. Where your days have space for what matters to you, not just what needs to get done.
You deserve time that’s yours, time that energizes you instead of draining you. When you give yourself that time during the day, going to bed stops feeling like giving up and starts feeling like getting ready for another day you want to live.
Try This Tonight:
Chill out. Remind yourself that tomorrow is another day, and today was beautiful because you were in it. Start there. You’re not just changing when you sleep, you’re changing how you live.
Disclaimer: This all can be applied to any and every area of your life you stumble upon a belief in scarcity.
1. I am in the middle of my wildest dreams everything is working out swimmingly and I am hot and skinny therefore all is well
2. I am the exception to every rule
3. Everyday I am trusting God more and more so every day I am seeing His hand and His blessings multiplied over my life
I swear there’s something about October - December that just makes you want to be the healthiest best most amazing version of yourself and so I’m (unfortunately) trading my fun afternoon drink with fairlife milkshakes
Also backkkk on my dessert tea in place of my nightly ice cream I’m giving you the baddie codes rn let’s just ignore the fact that we have no idea what natural flavor means and or contains
Non food related though I’ve really been enjoying Twitter more lately - especially hiking shawty’s account
Reading the Intellectual Origins of American Slavery and All My Kisses for You
What’s getting me about the first one is that slavery as a concept isn’t new there was slavery in Mesopotamia Babylon etc. it’s a spirit so if humans are present and vulnerable to be influenced by it they will be like all evil and sin; there’s no difference between you being a slave to your old self and a race or socio-economic class enslaving another, the only difference is in degree of severity. Isn’t that interesting?
