The way to a man's heart is through respect,
then sex (married ppl only pls omg we're women of God standards ladies standards), food, thennn everything else you think is important to them welcome back to the MARRIAGE MART, EDITION 3
♬ ♪♬ ♫ Here comes the brideeeeee, all cloaked in wisdommmmmmm ♪♬ ♫♪♬ ♫♪♪
Welcome back to Week 3 of Marriage Mart—your guide to maintaining high standards in relationships. Last week, we explored the importance of knowing your worth, embracing independence, and understanding the subtle balance that makes attraction work (the science behind the "dream girl").
This week, we’re turning up the a lil’ bit.
We’re talking about desirability—what makes you irresistible. Fun fact: as a woman, you’re already desirable to men simply by being a woman. Men are not as complicated as they might seem. Just like gravity keeps you grounded, relationships have laws that demand respect. When you understand and follow these principles, your love life will be a million times simpler. Let's get back into the lab shall we?
(Pssst! Missed last week? Catch up here.)
MARRIAGE MART LESSON THREE
1. Make Your Standards Non-Negotiable
There is immense power in having standards and sticking to them. Men will rise to meet your expectations or fall away—and that’s exactly what you want. If he’s interested, he’ll meet the bar; if you lower it, you only invite unnecessary heartbreak. Your standards are your protection; they filter out those unprepared for what you deserve.
Don’t let unhealed self-esteem keep you from what your healed self deserves.
Put your wholeness first.
2. Your Independence Is Your Superpower
Neediness is never attractive to a self-respecting man. An emotionally unbalanced, undeveloped man might find it endearing, but mostly—it’s not. Men love a challenge. Biologically, they are hunters. A hunter gets no thrill from an effortless "kill." That would make him a gatherer. Of which he is not.
Stay busy, stay booked, and let him fit into your schedule. A man wants to be part of your world—not your entire world. He thinks you’re fascinating, and watching you thrive in your natural environment is a treat for him. No one, not even the man who loves you, wants to be the sole source of your happiness.
3. Don’t Overshare Too Soon
Getting emotional too early can extinguish the spark before it even ignites. Men need to feel like they are earning your trust and affection gradually. It’s okay to feel deeply, but sharing every high and low too soon can be overwhelming. Let him discover you bit by bit, instead of making him feel responsible for your happiness. Oversharing can scare him away—it’s human nature.
4. Make Him Earn It
Do not—under any circumstances—play house before you’re in one. That means his last name, a covenant recognized by God, and legally binding documents. Cooking, cleaning, and doing his laundry every weekend are not for girlfriends—they’re for wives.
Let him consistently prove himself (preferably with a wedding date set and a license signed) before he gets wifely privileges (even then…pray about it, nothing’s set in stone yet).
You can’t apply for the role by performing wifely tasks too early. For those of us who’ve broken this rule (myself included), we know it never changes how he sees you. If anything, it’s just a nice little somethin' for nothin' (read: theft).
Jalier!
5. Stop Giving Away All Your Time
Your time is precious. Don’t make him feel like he can access you whenever he wants. You have goals, plans, and a life (??). That energy is what attracted him to you in the first place. Dropping everything for him gives away not only your time but also your power. Who else do you drop everything for? Exactly.
6. Men Love Women Who Are Self-Possessed
Confidence is the ultimate game-changer. It’s not about being the loudest but about knowing your worth and refusing to settle. A confident woman enters a room with presence, not desperation. A man who sees you value yourself will know he has to bring his best—and if he doesn’t, he isn’t for you.
Self-possession means being fully consumed by what makes you, you.
Personally, my confidence comes from knowing the Holy Spirit dwells within me. I see how my energy changes others—I leave them encouraged, at peace, and comforted (it’s the Holy Spirit). IYKYK.
7. Know When to Walk Away
Staying in an unprogressive situation wastes time and energy. If he’s not committing or things aren’t moving forward, be willing to walk away. Men respect women who know their value and won’t stay where they aren’t getting what they deserve. Walking away isn’t losing—it’s making space for what you truly deserve. And this doesn’t mean making idle threats. Get up, girl. When has that ever worked? What happened to the dignity madam?
8. The Law of Respect
Men don’t need undying affection from day one—they need respect. That’s the currency that holds real value. When he knows you respect his ambition, thoughts, and journey, it hits deeper than love. Respect keeps him invested, because when he feels respected, he sees you as a potential partner. Men need respect just as much as you need affection.
9. Don’t Marry Potential
If a man tells you he’s not in love, listen. Don’t try to turn his “maybe” into a “yes.” Men know what they want. If he says he’s not ready, believe him. Don’t marry the potential; marry the reality. If reality isn’t there, walk away. You get what you settle for, not what you want. But if you refuse to settle, what you truly desire can come to you.
10. Your Body Will Never Lie
Chaos is not love. If a relationship leaves you drained, stressed, or doubting yourself, it isn’t worth it. Protect your peace at all costs. A good relationship uplifts you—it doesn’t wear you down. Don’t mistake turbulence for passion; it’s just toxicity in disguise. Walk away from anything that disturbs your inner peace. If your body is out of balance—breaking out, gaining weight, feeling unwell—it’s a sign he’s not right for you.
11. Show Appreciation, but Don’t Overdo It
Everyone likes to feel appreciated, but too much can come off as desperation. Balance your appreciation with maintaining your own value. You don’t have to thank him excessively for things he should be doing. Acknowledge his efforts without making it seem like he’s doing you a favor. Don’t act like no one’s ever made an effort for you—he’ll think he doesn’t have to either. Act like you’ve always been treated like royalty, with reasonable gratitude.
12. Don’t Lose Your Identity
You are a whole person outside any relationship.
Don’t lose yourself by trying to become what you think he wants.
The right man will love you for who you are. Stay true to your interests, quirks, and goals. Your individuality makes you captivating. This applies to friendships and work relationships too—don’t pretend. It’s exhausting.
13. Learn the Power of Silence
You don’t need to fill every moment with words. Sometimes, silence is more powerful. Men reflect during quiet moments—let him wonder what you’re thinking. Let him be intrigued by your mind. Silence can be a powerful tool for maintaining curiosity and respect in any relationship. I’m a yapper, and my yapping is a privilege because I say wonderful things. I’m sure you’re similar. Just be mindful.
14. Let Him Lead Princess
Men have an innate desire to lead. Allowing him to take the lead at times reinforces his role in the relationship. It makes him feel needed and appreciated. Being strong and independent doesn’t mean you can’t let someone take care of you. Balance is key.
If you want a man to do something for you, make him feel like he’s the CEO of that one thing, and without him, you couldn’t possibly manage.
If done right, he’ll empower you through his leadership—fine line, but you’re fine wine. ;)
15. Avoid Over-Explaining
One of the worst things you can do is over-explain yourself. Whether it’s why you can’t see him or why you have certain standards, stop feeling the need to justify your every action. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for respecting yourself. Stand by your decisions confidently. This applies everywhere in life!
16. Keep a Sense of Mystery, but Be Honest
Yes, the word "mystery" can be tiring, but the truth is a bit of it keeps things exciting. This doesn’t mean being deceptive—it means not revealing every detail of your life on day one. Be honest, but let him discover you layer by layer. Keep parts of your life private, at least until trust is established.
17. Actions Speak Louder Than Words
Talk is cheap—it’s actions that matter. If he makes promises but doesn’t follow through, take that as a red flag. On your part, ensure your actions align with your words as well. Consistency builds trust and sets the tone for a healthy relationship.
However he is during the getting-to-know-you phase is how he will be in marriage. Eyes and ears OPEN, class!
18. Don’t Settle for Breadcrumbs
If a man is giving you the bare minimum, don’t accept it out of fear of being alone. You deserve someone who gives you effort, love, and attention without hesitation.
Don’t settle for someone who only contacts you when it’s convenient.
You’re not an option—you’re a priority. Do you know how hard it is for men to find a wife these days? Act accordingly.
19. Be Decisive
Indecisiveness comes off as insecurity. If you want something, say it. If you don’t, make it clear. Men respect women who know what they want. It’s okay to have preferences and voice them confidently. This shows self-assuredness. But remember—this applies more once you’re beyond the initial stages of getting to know each other.
That’s a wrap for this week, babes. We’ve covered everything from why men love a challenge to how respect is the true game-changer in relationships. Internalize these principles, and you won’t just have a man—you’ll have a good man who knows your worth.
It takes a man of value, led by the Spirit of God, to recognize the one God has designed for him.
Until next week, remember: stay wise, stay busy, and
always be a little unattainable.
Selah, dream girl.
