The Life You Planned Isn't the Only Life Available to You
Four things that happen when you stop looking back
Can December Live Up To Her Hype?
I don’t know about you guys but November was one of best months of the year for me next to perhaps May? Or June? October? You know what the whole last six months of the year ate the first six months for sport and I have no complaints.
I want you to find a surface, a mirror, your phone’s camera, whatever it is, and I want you to record yourself, mentally or physically saying, “girl you’re getting better and better huh, it’s like every year for you just,” *shake your head a little* “you just won’t quit, body tea, accounts fat, I can’t with you miss dream girl.”
It’ll readjust or reinforce how you’ve been feeling lately because,
It is the truth.
Cheers to December (the best Calendar month around, my birth month, Christmas, all things GOOD in life).
Letter from the EditorFour Things That Happen When You Stop Grieving the Life You Thought You’d Live
Your Weekly Affirmations
What You Missed on From Love Itself TV
Gift Guide for the Foodie/Snackie/Hostess with the Mostess in Your Life
Transcribed and slightly adapted from a very serious voice note I recorded post everything shower.
And here’s the thing about grief. I’m not talking about pretending it didn’t happen or forcing yourself to move on before you’re ready. That’s not what this is.
What I’m talking about is that moment when you realize you’ve been building an altar to what used to be. A monument. A museum. An archive. A whole institution dedicated to the life that didn’t happen. And somewhere in all that curation, you stopped noticing what’s actually in front of you.
There’s something in you that knows. Your body knows, your mind knows. You cannot live in a constant state of grief without it touching everything. Your health. Your mentality. Your beauty. So this isn’t about ignoring grief. This is about choosing yourself. An act of defiance, really. Maybe even patriotism towards your own life.
It’s the moment you decide that you would rather discover what’s before you than keep archiving what was.
No longer is your mind occupied with lamentation. With tears. With shock. With the emotional aftereffects of what happened. Or rather, what didn’t happen, more aptly. When all of that is pushed to the side, you now have room to decide what time could make of what you have in your hands. Of what you have in your heart.
And it’s funny. You would think that grief leaves us with the room to retrieve that which was lost. When in fact it does quite the opposite. It shrinks that which could be.
But what, with all that grief gone? There seems to be nothing but space and room to expand further.
What you thought were opportunities reveal themselves for what they actually were. Cleverly disguised gatekeepers. Designed to do one of two things. Either keep you in the same place or keep you safe until you get to that which you’re sojourning towards.
And so no longer do you see what used to be so grand. What you knelt down on your knees to thank your God for. Not forsaking the gratitude that expelled from your pores, no. But adding perspective to that which was.
It stands to reason that surely, surely, greater can happen again.
And in that perspective becomes another measure of freedom. That maybe things can be better than they were.
Because if in that moment you were celebrating that very truth disguised as an event, who’s to say it cannot be replicated? Given all of the variables. Yourself and time and God. Are withstanding. It stands to reason that surely even greater can happen again.
You start to move away from who you thought you’d be with.
This one’s paradoxical. And it might hurt a little.
You begin to move away from who was for who you thought you’d be. This might look like friendships leaving your life. This might look like more time spent alone. This might look like less time spent in groups. This might look like more time spent in groups. Whatever it is you used to do, you no longer do.
And you wonder if perhaps this is the word recalibration in motion. Moving. In action. Embodied. Doing what it does best.
You lay down your arms. You lay down your disappointment. You lay down your disappointment. Your arguments with God. The case you’ve been building against His plan, and if we’re being honest, against yourself too.
Weapons have two purposes, they either build and protect, or they destroy the very thing they claim to defend. And in holding onto your grievance with God’s plan, you were doing the latter. Destroying what you thought you were protecting. Which is yourself. Your life. That which you don’t even recognize anymore.
And so in this realization is not only another measure of freedom. It is the measure of freedom necessary to embrace that which is before you. And not only to embrace it. But it is the thrust. The power. The momentum. The speed. The lift that you need to become an active participant in what is and is becoming.
Q: What’s one version of you you’ve been scared to let go of?
Why?
The lines are falling in pleasant places for me 24/7 365
2026 has been waiting for me all my life
I am in my never ending window of fame, impact, and legend era
About This Episode: I feel like a lot of people are going to be meeting THE ONE YES THAT ONE in and around 2026, this is your fool proof guide to not…freak out.
Anthro Plates / Icon Mug / Bowls / Condiment Box / Olive Oil and Vinegar/ Chopping Board / Milk and Sugar Containers / Japanese Fruit / Love Box / Olive Oil
Where do we start with her? She might have the culinary palette of a small child but when she hyper fixates, it’s chic as can be.
She’s probably into plating or was at some point in the past so this anthro set, or these limited edition Vincent Van Duysen (Belgian architect, designer, etc,.) bowls from Zara Home might just do it for her
Let’s not forget the chopping board she’ll try to remake when she gets really into ceramics (plastics?) at some point in the coming year
You might decide to indulge her newly found tea, or olive oil habit, the former with this adorable sunset milk and sugar set or the latter with these extremely giftable personalized olive oils because who doesn’t love a thoughtful gift?
Before you (and her, this is why you’re friends after all) get carried away, consider getting her a multipurpose box she won’t know what to do with immediately but will adore you for giving her the gift of possibility
She’ll thank you even more if you tuck this Icon Mug in to get her started with the mother of all thinking processes (a warm drink)
And lastly, but really maybe should’ve been first, if she’s not the one who introduced you, take the honor of being the one who gets to introduce her to the joy that is Japanese gift-able fruit (unless she’s anti-fruit in which case this condiment lover box will do).
Four Seasons Robe / 2026 Planner / Aritzia Triangle Scarf / Hair Perfume / Kindle Cover / Sandy Liang Slippers
Even if you’re not her, you know exactly how she’ll respond to last minute (or in advance) plans. Here’s how to lure her out of her curated abode.
Promise her a robe, that’ll change her life, like this Four Seasons one, made of 100% Velour Jacquard Cotton aka, super soft, super luxurious feeling, better than your average cotton or terry robe.
Or, if that doesn’t work, try popping this planner into a gift bag, she’ll instantly feel like filling it with dates of all sorts.
In the same vein, honorable mention for this triangle scarf, maybe she’s cold?
But in the event you can’t draw her out of her cozy setting, get her this hair perfume, a case for that Kindle that’ll make her think of you, or these slippers that may remind her that whether or not she chooses to be a winter social butterfly or not, you love her anyway.
Beauty pillow / Marble lighter / Pajama top + bottom / MANGO bag / Nadri earrings
It’s either she’s your best friend, mentor, mother, sister, or some kind of mix of the four. Here’s what to get her.
I’ve heard nothing but good things about this Nurse Jamie pillow, we figure she’d be concerned about her neck’s alignment and we don’t blame her. Apparently facial symmetry has everything to do with how you sleep, and little to do with genetics.
How cute is this marble lighter? You never know when you need to light something on quickly and with style.
If she’s practical, she doesn’t play about sleep either, get her these 100% silk washable pajamas (top and bottom), if she doesn’t own (several) sets already, you’ll be contributing to her efficiency which is basically her love language.
There’s nothing more necessary than a basic blag bag that holds everything, is inconspicuous, and instantly puts anything together. This one from MANGO gives me Zendaya after being freed from the cuffs of her Disney contract, her Spiderman arc, and her happy life in London. Very practical.
And finally, she probably takes great care to not mishandle her diamonds after almost losing them after a Solidcore class (not a great experience), these are so unique and so beautiful, if she happens to lose them she might mourn them more than the real thing.
