the fetishization of relationships
and why i deleted my dating apps in the 2000 teens
I deleted all my dating apps before the pandemic. I realized I can't make decisions about my future, what's best for me, who's best for me, if I don't know where I'm going. And I can't guess where I'm going. The only person who knows where I'm going is the Holy Spirit. It is Jesus.
There's a difference between a girl who has a boyfriend and a girl whose whole identity is her relationship. In our age of social media, everyone wants the opposite of a hard launch. Everyone wants a soft launch.
the social currency trap
It feeds your dopamine receptors. Think of social capital like actual currency - but different. What really signals value today? It's freedom of time - actually being able to structure your day how you want. It's having access to exclusive events and spaces. It's who you know and who knows you. It's your follower count. It's your intellectual depth - can you actually share ideas that matter? These are the real currencies. And somehow, being in a relationship has become another form of this currency - but it's not supposed to be.
investing in yourself: the real p&l
What if you treated yourself like a business? It's like a P&L - a profit and loss statement. Every successful business knows exactly what they're investing in and why.
You need to have stock within yourself. You need to continually buy stock into yourself. But what does that actually look like?
How to Buy Stock in Yourself:
Learning: Actually studying topics that matter (TO YOU + FUTURE YOU!)
Education: Getting real knowledge that builds your future
Hobbies: Tennis, cooking, photography - things that develop you
Skills: Things that make you more capable
Relationship with God: Your actual source of life
Growth Friendships: People who push you higher
Not those surface-level friendships where you just gossip and do nothing productive. Those friendships won't do anything for you in the future. You can honor relationships you've had for a long time, but you need friendships that will open doors for you in the future.
on surface level living
This is something 20-year-old me would not understand because I used to look at God as an accessory, this turbo launch button that could accelerate me on my own path of choosing.
the transformation
When that switch flipped in my brain, everything about my life changed:
Became more radiant
Became more beautiful
My energy became more magnetic
Started getting more attention than when I was trying to get attention
And the gag is I don't care! Unlike before, my internal world will always be my focus.
the bottom line
You are your single greatest asset. Your life will look how you want it to look if you invest in yourself. Today.
Cheers to letting God be our valentine. Cheers to letting Jesus choose the course of our life. Cheers to the love that He shows us. Cheers to the love that we're able to show because of the love He shows us. Cheers to never running dry. Our cups will never be empty.
May the entire dating app market d*ie a slow death lol.
I love the bottom line