on having friends that actually get it
Ever been in a group chat that feels... off lately?
Or sat through brunch feeling like you're speaking a different language when you talk about what's been exciting you? Yeah, me too.
It's that moment when you realize some friendships feel more like a comfortable habit than a genuine connection. And while there's nothing wrong with friends who knew you during your still-figuring-out-who-you-are phase, sometimes you need people who know where you're trying to go.
Your vibe shifts when your circle does. It's not about dropping people or being too good for anyone - it's about finding the friends who light up when you talk about your goals, who send you podcast episodes that change your life, who pray for you without you asking.
The Signs You're Ready for New Friends:
You filter yourself in the group chat
Your growth feels lonely
You're tired of explaining why you care about certain things
Nobody gets excited about your wins
Finding your people isn't about fancy networking events or forced connections. It's about being honest about who you are and what you care about.
Finding Your Circle:
Join that book club you've been stalking
Actually DM that girl whose content inspires you
Show up to church events solo
Take the workout class that intimidates you
Say yes to the coffee date with a friend of a friend
The Types of Friends You Need:
The one who's a few steps ahead and pulls you up
The one who's right beside you, grinding toward similar goals
The one who keeps you grounded and remembers your roots
The one who challenges your thinking (in a good way)
On Keeping Old Friends: You don't have to cut people off just because your paths look different. Some friends are for different seasons, and that's okay. You can love them, cherish the memories, and still create space for new connections.
Making Space for Growth:
Be the friend you want to find
Share your actual dreams (not the watered-down versions)
Create spaces for real conversation
Check your heart when you feel resistance
Pray about your friendships (yes, really)
The thing about finding friends who get it? They're probably looking for you too. They're at church, hoping to connect with other girls that get it. They're at that workout class, wondering if anyone else there wants more than just a sweat session.
Your circle doesn't have to be huge. Sometimes it's just one or two people who make you feel seen, who get your references, who understand why you're saving for that conference or taking that class.
The right friends won't make you explain why you're choosing a different path. They'll just ask what snacks to bring for the journey.