a case for mental "birth" control
stop conceiving catastrophes and relax the world won't end if you chill
you’re not putting things off because you’re lazy
Let's talk about what's really happening when you put something off. You're not actually avoiding that thing. You're avoiding the uncertainty of engaging with that thing.
what’s really happening is kind of embarrassing
Think about it. Like when you keep putting off that email. It's not the typing that's hard - it's not knowing how they'll respond. You don't know how it's gonna turn out. You don't know how you're gonna do it. You don't know what's gonna happen when you start. You don't know if you'll be able to finish.
You're avoiding that uncertainty because uncertainty makes you uncomfortable.
Because you don't know every single variable in that state of uncertainty. Uncertainty means you're not certain, you're not sure, you're not confident, you're not standing on a solid rock.
Right? No one wants to go across a wobbly bridge. It's human nature.
how this manifests in my (and possibly your) life
Whenever I put completing huge projects off, I realized the real issue wasn’t the work, but:
Not knowing if I’m gonna do it right
Being unsure of what people will think of my work (this post took me 2 days !)
Not knowing if it'll be worth the effort
Uncertainty about whether I’m even spending my time doing the right things
Or for you it could be that text or invitation you keep not responding to - it's not about typing words, it's about all the unknowns of what happens after you commit to that one simple action.
It's all about the unknown. Not the task.
The moment you come face to face with uncertainty, your brain goes into protection mode. It starts asking: Is this worth the energy? Do I need to do this right now? What if it goes wrong? These aren't just annoying thoughts - they're your brain trying to protect you from potential danger. The problem is, most modern "dangers" aren't dangers at all. And the bigger problem is, when your brain has been allowed to do this uninterrupted for YEARS, its gotten REALLY good at it.
how our lovely brains work
Your brain has 3 parts: the animal brain, the middle brain, and the reasoning brain.
That animal brain handles basic survival stuff - eating, sleeping, fighting, fleeing. Your fear response sits right above this animal brain.
So when you're putting something off, you perceive that uncertainty, that uncomfortability as something that can threaten your life. Because your lower brain is literally like, "Uncertainty? That could be a tiger! Better avoid it!"
This isn't just theory - it's why your heart races before you hit send on that risky text. It's why your palms get sweaty before presenting. Your middle brain - they call it the limbic system - it's the part that freaks out before your rational mind has a chance to step in. It's been keeping humans alive for thousands of years, but it's terrible at telling the difference between actual threats and just uncomfortable situations.
taking brain control
You have to tell your brain that it's not that deep. It's not that serious. It's not life or death. It's literally just you, a person, doing something. Like taking a walk.
Think about how simple taking a walk is. You just... do it. No overthinking. No anxiety. That's how most tasks should feel when we strip away the uncertainty, and kind of just, do them. instead of taking birth control to avoid having a child, self prescribing a different way of thinking, might actually help us stop living a life less than we deserve.
the prescription
Start by naming the exact uncertainty you're feeling. Is it rejection? Failure? Looking stupid? Name it.
Then remind yourself: This is just discomfort, not danger. Your brain is overreacting.
Then interrupt the cycle with these steps:
Name the specific uncertainty – "I'm not afraid of posting these videos, I'm afraid of being rejected"
Downgrade the threat level – "This isn't life or death, it's just posting a video"
Create some certainty – "I'll post them and then go on with my day”
Make the unknown smaller – "I don't need to know how and if people will respond to it, I just need to know that I did my part and expressed a part of myself someone else might relate to"
the de-energizing technique
You have to de-energize or take away the charge that you've applied to doing this thing. The label of fear you've attached to being this kind of person or going to this kind of place.
Here's what this looks like in practice: When I'm avoiding writing something important, I'll literally say out loud: "This is just typing words. My fingers on keys. That's it." I picture that uncertainty as a dark energy field around the task, kind of like clouds. Then I imagine myself doing the task and as I do it, I release a glowing white light from myself that chases away the uncertainty.” (This is Christ working through me.)
Every time you face uncertainty and survive (which is literally every time), you're teaching your brain that uncertainty isn't actually dangerous. It's just uncomfortable. And you can handle uncomfortable.
start teeny tiny
When uncertainty feels overwhelming, create tiny pockets of certainty:
"I don't know how the conversation will go, but I know exactly what my opening line will be"
"I'm not sure if I can finish this project, but I can definitely work on it for 10 minutes"
"I don't know if they'll like my idea, but I know I can present it clearly"
Your brain relaxes when it has even small islands of certainty to stand on.
Remember: Your brain doesn't know the difference between a tiger and a difficult email. You have to teach it that uncertainty isn't dangerous – it's just part of being human.
When the student is ready, the teacher appears. I guess that means… :)