7 signs you're living someone else's life (and how to get yours back)

it's easier than you think

Jun 18, 2025

You know that feeling when you're checking all the "right" boxes but something still feels off? Like you're playing a character in someone else's story? Here are 7 signs you might be living someone else's life and what to freaking do about it before it does something to you.

1. you keep applying for stuff (jobs, roles, etc.) you don’t even want

You're sending out applications for positions that make you feel physically heavy just thinking about them. You justify it as "being responsible" or "paying the bills," but deep down, you know, money aside, these roles would make you miserable.

why this happens: society (and probably your family) has convinced you that any job is better than no job, even if it crushes your soul

how to get your life back: stop applying for jobs that don't align with your actual interests or skills (even for just a little bit). Instead, spend that energy developing the thing you're actually passionate about, even if it seems "unrealistic".

2. you feel like you have to shrink yourself in interviews

during job interviews or networking events, you find yourself downplaying your intelligence, your ideas, or your ambitions to fit what you think they want to hear.

why this happens: you've been taught that fitting in is more important than standing out, so you mold yourself to match other people's expectations (crazy right)

how to get your life back: start showing up authentically. If they don't want the real you, they're not your people. the right opportunities will appreciate you for you.

3. you’re more afraid of disappointing others than disappointing yourself

you make major life decisions based on what your parents, friends, or your feed will think, rather than what actually feels right for you. You'd rather be miserable than deal with their disapproval.

why this happens: you've been conditioned to value external validation over internal knowing.

how to get your life back: Start making one small decision each week based purely on what YOU want, not what others expect. Build up your tolerance for disappointing people.

4. your current path feels like swimming upstream

everything feels hard in a forced way, you're constantly fighting resistance, needing excessive motivation, or feeling drained by activities that should energize you.

why this happens: you're trying to force yourself into a mold that doesn't fit your natural gifts and inclinations.

how to get your life back: pay attention to what flows easily for you. what activities make you lose track of time? what feels effortless? those are clues to your authentic path.

5. you’ve outgrown your friend group but feel guilty about it

conversations with your old friends feel surface-level or draining. you're interested in different things, operating at a different level, but you feel bad about the growing distance.

why this happens: Growth is natural, but we're taught that loyalty means staying the same to make others comfortable.

how to get your life back: accept that outgrowing relationships is part of evolution. you can love people from a distance while making space for connections that match your current frequency.

6. you’re waiting for permission that’s never coming

you keep looking for external validation, more credentials, or someone else to give you the green light before pursuing what you really want. you're waiting for the "perfect time" or the "right opportunity."

why this happens: you've been taught that following dreams is irresponsible unless someone else validates them first.

how to get your life back: realize that permission comes from within. start taking small actions toward your goals without waiting for anyone's approval. the path reveals itself as you walk it.

7. success stories make you feel said instead of inspired

when you see people thriving in their authentic paths, instead of feeling motivated, you feel envious or defeated because it highlights how far you are from your own truth.

why this happens: their success reminds you that you're not living yours, which creates cognitive dissonance.

how to get your life back: use that envy as data. what specifically about their life appeals to you? that's your inner wisdom telling you what direction to move toward.

at the end of the DAYYY? chickita?

living someone else's life is exhausting because you're constantly swimming against your own current. the moment you start honoring your authentic desires, interests, and timeline, life becomes less about forcing and more about flowing.

your real life is waiting for you to claim it. the question isn't whether you're capable of living it, it's whether you're brave enough to disappoint the people who prefer the old version of you.

What's one small step you can take this week toward getting your life back?